- You're welcome
- Holding doors
- Graciousness, being a good hostess
- Tone of voice
- Posture and body language
- Thank you notes
- Interrupting
- Being kind
- Respect
- Having a short fuse
- Proper attire
- Personal space (physical, visual and aural)
- Maintaining cleanliness (cleaning up after yourself)
- Clearing the table
- Pushing chairs in
We started by reading these 10 Gentle Reminders (see below) and also used this fun song (see below) about manners. It was so much fun and from my perceptive it has made a huge difference in the subtle acts that the kids do throughout the day that either make the day pleasant or unpleasant.
The girls are both doing things without being asked and doing thoughtful favors. Now, mostly this has an impact on me because they are more pleasant to be around at home and the favors they do are to help me out. Selfish aren't I?
The other morning we were in a huge rush to get out the door and Lila took it upon herself to get the dogs food and feed Parker and Sampson for me. It was such a help for me and a great way for her to gain responsibility.
Eva has blossomed in terms of talking to other people and saying please and thank you. A month ago in public she would hardly talk to a cashier or server and now she's looking at people and saying thank you on her own.
This is particularly noticeable when the kids are in activities with instructors and at the end I've asked them to say thank you to their teacher/coach, etc. I think Lila took her basketball coach Spencer by surprise by saying a quick "thank you" at the end. Eva also says thank you to her swimming instructor and hip hop teacher.
One thing that is interesting is that now they are noticing when other people forget their manners and quickly point that out to me (we need to work on this).
Nonetheless, we had a great month and I'm hoping that just because the month of manners is over that they won't forget to use them. I learned a lot too. Like that I often forget to say please and thank you when talking to my immediate family members and that my tone of voice isn't always friendly (especially when I get frustrated with the kids). We all have some work to do!
This idea stemmed from a recent playdate that Lila had where when it was time for the friend to leave she absolutely lost it (5 1/2 year old temper tantrums are not pretty). The next day I took Lila to lunch at a favorite Thai restaurant where we talked about this incident and several others and together we came up with the plan. The plan was for mostly for Lila though we agreed that we would include Eva in our daily lessons and the rewards. Surprisingly Eva took to the manners very well and both girls made great age appropriate strides.
In addition to learning manners daily I set each girl up with their own Manners Jar. When I observed good manners I added marbles to their jar and when I observed bad manners marbles were removed. If either one of them threw a tantrum the marble jar was completely dumped out and they had to start over.
The girls were excited and this all sounded great. Then we had to figure out what would happen if/when they got their jar filled. The rewards that I proposed were;
- They would earn $5 to use as they please or save
- I would paint their toenails and fingernails
- I would take them out for hot chocolate
I asked for input from the kids on these rewards. Eva thought they all sounded enticing. Lila thought they sounded good too and she wanted to add one more to the list; a trip to Burgerville. For those of you who are not local Burgerville is the best fast-food restaurant in our area. They serve real food, albeit fried and sauced, it really comes from a cow or a potato. We don't often frequent restaurants and fast food restaurants are even more rare. Lila thought this was a real treat to add to the list. I agreed.
Fast forward 17 days into our Month of Manners and Lila got her jar filled while we were on vacation in Sandpoint, Idaho. Guess which reward she picked? Burgerville. There isn't a Burgerville anywhere near Sandpoint so she quickly suggested that she get to go to Burger "King". This is a child who has never once been to Burger King or McDonald's somewhat on principle and somewhat because she is gluten and dairy free. Gasp! She wants to go to Burger King! We decided that it was up to her and she happily insisted (mostly because Scott and I were squeamish I think). And, she got her very first fast-food 'happy meal' with the Burger King crown to boot. And no, it wasn't gluten or dairy free. Lila decided that having the itches was well worth it for Burger King.
Eva got her jar filled when we got home and she happily went to Burgerville. On the last day of the Month of Manners Eva got her jar filled again and she choose to receive $5. She's funny about money in that she likes it a lot (just like her daddy).
February is the Month of Gratitude at our house. It's not going to be nearly as exciting as the Month of Manners especially because the Manners Jars have been retired. It's obvious that I need to work on gratitude isn't it?
